OMG how rude!!!!

[sammi]

Yesterday mum dad and myself went out for a meal with our family. when we got in the car dad had arena on normally mum turns it off as soon as we get in the car but we told her she couldn't this time and told her it was only a short song (13mins odd ) lol then the worse things kept comming out of my mums mouth, i couldn't believe what i was hearing "it is depressing music you two are sick for listening to it, it deppresses me" then came the big debate me and dad against mum.  i can fully understand and accept that she doesn't like the music but to be rude to us is very unfair.

[Clive]

That's not so uncommon...
Magazine critics will often attack the audience, particularly when they don't know what to say about our music.
Progressive Rock can be an easy target (although I think Heavy Metal is easier!).
Maybe you should find a less complex song, and play it to her 'out of context'... she might accidently like it then!

[Peter]

Hmmm, I can also understand your mum, actually. Not for being rude, but maybe for becoming rude in such a situation. Music is such a personal thing at times, everybody has his own perception of it and as soon as someone's feelings are disturbed by what I play, I'd actually stop. Just my 2cents.

[Appelmoes??]

I don't think Arena's music is depressing at all The 'stories' always turn out good (Cutting the Cards + Ascension, Fridays Dream) and the character from the visitor is somehow changed, Jericho (to me) is very uplifting, like conquering something difficult in our life. I think your mom should listen to the whole albums, read the lyrics and think about it.

[Peter]

I don't think Arena's music is depressing at all The 'stories' always turn out good (Cutting the Cards + Ascension, Fridays Dream) and the character from the visitor is somehow changed, Jericho (to me) is very uplifting, like conquering something difficult in our life. I think your mom should listen to the whole albums, read the lyrics and think about it.

Why should she. Not everybody feels the need to deeply look into the music. I know a lot of people to whom I played Arena and Ayreon et al, and who always similarly repsonded that the music makes them sad, aggressive or whatever, and they'd rather listen to POP radio, cos it makes them feeld good. When asked if they wouldn't like to explore what's behind it, like read lyrics and get to know the story of albums and so, they'd mostly decline.

It comes down to that people have different demands to music.

[Appelmoes??]

Why should she. Not everybody feels the need to deeply look into the music. I know a lot of people to whom I played Arena and Ayreon et al, and who always similarly repsonded that the music makes them sad, aggressive or whatever, and they'd rather listen to POP radio, cos it makes them feeld good. When asked if they wouldn't like to explore what's behind it, like read lyrics and get to know the story of albums and so, they'd mostly decline.

It comes down to that people have different demands to music.

That's true, but you could try to understand the music before you say something about it Most people I know are like: "Rock? Pff, screaming guys, loud music, satanism, doom, despair, etc..." They generalize everything with the word 'Rock' in it before they even took the time to look more deeply in the matter. That's just sad...

So my question is to Sammie: Did your mom ever took the time to try to understand those songs? (And I don't mean she has to like them)

[PH]

I have the similar problem.
I used to play Arena in the car but they hated it so much, they said that I forced them to listen to music that they didn't like, I was upset but later I understood it. You mustn't force people to hear music you like, it's personal. Noone wants to hear it? You better accept it. Too bad, but it's just the way it is. You always can listen to a discman or an MP3-player.

By the way, you can also try to get to let them listen to music that is more accessable. Like new Marillion, new Genesis or ACT (that one worked even with my mum!!). The 'difficult' music (as I want to call it now) like old Genesis or Arena or Dream Theater or whatever can wait. They eventually might want to listen to that (not in the car, because (I think for Arena for example) you have to focus on the music)

(I recently put 'On The Box' on my dad's palmtop and he played it and he said: "That's musically an amazing song! Really good!" And he was not kidding. He even listened to it when I was not there to watch him.)

[johninblack]

So my question is to Sammie: Did your mom ever took the time to try to understand those songs? (And I don't mean she has to like them)

You must be bloody joking. She automaticaly assumes that if it's one of Sammi's or my cd's then she will hate it. She seems to have totally closed her mind to the possibility of liking any of 'our' music. Bloody silly really because if she were to give it a chance she would probly find it a lot easier to listen to than she does.

Maybe you should find a less complex song

Well it was Opera Fanatica!

[Appelmoes??]

Well it was Opera Fanatica!

Try to start with Friday's Dream

[PH]

Friday's Dream is an excellent choice!
Or some other acoustic guitar songs. (Waiting For The Flood)

[johninblack]

Fridays Dream.... one of my favorites and exactly what I would choose to 'ease her in'.

[maddox]

Maybe you should find a less complex song, and play it to her 'out of context'... she might accidently like it then!

Ask my wife.  I once let her listen to some songs of Arena (like Fools Gold, Crack In The Ice and Moviedrome ( yep, that one too.  ) but the only songs she really liked were songs like The Eyes Of Lara Moon, Enemy Without (she even hums when she hears "No, don't let the child etc..) and Fridays Dream.

So you're absolutely right when you say that it's not uncommon. Fact is that not only the magazines are quite negative about this kind of music. Other people, the 'mere mortal', often speak negative about the music even when they never heard any tune of the music. That can be soo very irritating.

MAD.

[sammi]

I have the similar problem.
I used to play Arena in the car but they hated it so much, they said that I forced them to listen to music that they didn't like, I was upset but later I understood it. You mustn't force people to hear music you like, it's personal. Noone wants to hear it? You better accept it. Too bad, but it's just the way it is. You always can listen to a discman or an MP3-player.

Normally she gets what she wants when in the car alot of the time i have to listen to the stuff she like that i don't and i put up with it and don't call her sick. it's really not often that me and dad get to listen to something we like when she's in th car and it was only 1 song it's not like it was the whole album.i don't have a problem with her not liking what i like, it's when shes rude about it, it bothers me. And i am really honoured that clive replyed and kinda shocked.

[keyboardistmatt]

And i am really honoured that clive replyed and kinda shocked.

Clive's good like that!

[HelenDo]

I wouldn't repeat on here what my husband says about Arena  . I have tried honestly. Last Summer we were stuck on the M25 for about an hour and he sat through the whole of Contagion  . I should add its not only Arena, we don't agree on much musically. I think the only groups we both like are The Beatles, The Who & The Rolling Stones 

Helenxxx

[PH]

I wouldn't repeat on here what my husband says about Arena  . I have tried honestly. Last Summer we were stuck on the M25 for about an hour and he sat through the whole of Contagion  . I should add its not only Arena, we don't agree on much musically. I think the only groups we both like are The Beatles, The Who & The Rolling Stones 

Helenxxx

What kind of music does he listen to then?

[kmorse]

I married for love, but not love of music. Musically, my wife and I are opposites. I like prog, prog-metal and classic stuff like the Who and Beatles.
I'm going to be on a long car trip (6-7 hours) with her later this spring. I'm very carefully putting together some CDs of "accessible prog" that won't get me tossed out onto the highway. For my wife, I'm afraid that even something like "Waiting for the Flood" would be too wild.
She leans toward stuff such as Sting (although I think "The Soul Cages" is a great album and don't really mind much of his stuff) and I prefer the Police; she likes Phil Collins and later Genesis, I like the earlier stuff; I like Peter Gabriel's early solo work; she likes his later solo work (though not his last one very much).
She likes to poke fun at prog lyrics, too. Although I'll admit that that some prog lyrics can be real howlers. She also has little patience for excessive repetition of choruses or musical themes (which occasionally is an issue with prog; the end of "Waiting for the Flood" would be an example of one that would send her looking for the "Next" button.
Music we can agree on:
All of Steve Hackett's acoustic stuff, Arena's "The Cry", much of Pat Metheny's mellower work; Bruce Cockburn (check out his "Speechless" CD of all acoustic guitar stuff, it's exquisite); bluesy stuff such as Stevie Ray Vaugh; Vivaldi; Mozart; Bach.
Any suggestions for my compilation will be welcome. I've got the whole Genesis catalog, early King Crimson, Yes, Arena, IQ, Pallas, Jadis, EL&P (talk about "howler" lyrics!), Steve Hackett, to name some prog acts.

[Peter]

Any suggestions for my compilation will be welcome.

Sting - Bring on the Night
-- what a fantastic album, gonna play it now

[PH]

It's true. Acoustic guitar songs are most of the time very popular and accessable.

What about Porcupine Tree? Blackfield? It Bites? Kino? U2? (Don't shoot me for that one)

[kmorse]

I forgot to mention I've got Porcupine Tree, too. Some good, ambient stuff there. I'll stay away from "In Absentia" and it's weird story/lyrics.

[PH]

I forgot to mention I've got Porcupine Tree, too. Some good, ambient stuff there. I'll stay away from "In Absentia" and it's weird story/lyrics.

Yeah, and stay away from Deadwing too, that's also a heavy one.

All the others are good for women.
(Except maybe The Sky Moves Sideways with it's hallucinative guitars and trance beats (or whatever))

[HelenDo]

What kind of music does he listen to then?

He just doesn't like anything that you might give the tag "prog". He's never liked Pink Floyd, Genesis, Yes etc. After years of grinding him down, I've got him to admit to quite liking some of Marillion's stuff. I predict the same struggle with Arena, but I see it as a challenge worth taking on  . He did quite enjoy the Kino gig in London last April though.

Helenxxx

[willowroolz]

If it helps, I've just started a new job and have spent the past two months listening to one of my colleagues slag off all the music I like, every day without fail. He thinks he's funny. He's one of those people who'll ask you what you like, not tell you what he likes, and then proceed to rip the p*ss out of you when he's got an audience.

Worst of all, when I first spoke to him he made a pretense of liking Rush, so I loaned him the R30 dvd - now he's taking great pleasure in not returning it 

Still, there are some plus points. Yesterday he came over to me and loudly asked me to name one good prog band. I immediately said Arena, who he'd never heard of. So I told him, rather loudly, that he's lacking in musical intelligence and obviously not prog enough (which makes more sense if you've ever read the 101 rules of progressive metal  ).

[Peter]

He just doesn't like anything that you might give the tag "prog". He's never liked Pink Floyd, Genesis, Yes etc. After years of grinding him down, I've got him to admit to quite liking some of Marillion's stuff. I predict the same struggle with Arena, but I see it as a challenge worth taking on  . He did quite enjoy the Kino gig in London last April though.

Helenxxx

Live gigs are always a good chance to "convert" someone. The impression is just so much bigger than spinning a CD for someone

[Peter]

So I told him, rather loudly, that he's lacking in musical intelligence and obviously not prog enough (which makes more sense if you've ever read the 101 rules of progressive metal  ).

LOLz