Hogweed's daft site

[Constable Hogweed]

ok this is a blatant plug for my.....errrm pointless site. Please come aboard 
http://groups.msn.com/Hogweedssweatarsemarmitejar

[Peter]

Oh dear 

[Xanxtuary]

OK, well here's another plug, because I also ... erm ... create stuff for Hogweed's site and am his partner and co-manager of the site.  I'm the one who did the daft restaurant adverts and the one for Geddy Lee's electrical repair service!!

I hear more sighs coming on ...

[Simtere]

The "Last Page on the Internet" gave me a chuckle ...... it also has a certain ring of truth to it    Nice one!!!!

[Constable Hogweed]

The "Last Page on the Internet" gave me a chuckle ...... it also has a certain ring of truth to it    Nice one!!!!

[gelert]

Cheers for the link, Hogweed...loved the jokes, especially the "watch for falling rocks"...LOLOL 
Thought that you might enjoy this...

We've all heard that cliché about giving more than 100%, but we all thought that up to now, mathematically, it was impossible.....However, whilst working on a sequel to Hamlet, an infinite number of monkeys have stumbled across a simple formula that can work out how to achieve more than 100% :-

First, number the letters of the alphabet from 1 to 26:

A   B  C   D  E   F  G   H   I    J    K   L   M   N   O   P   Q    R   S    T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z
1    2   3   4   5   6   7    8   9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26

Then, applying some basic mathematics using elements that one would imagine would be required to achieve success, add up the value of each letter in the word:

D  E  D  I  C  A  T  I  O  N
4   5   4  9  3  1  20 9 15 14    =    84 %

B   R   I   L   L   I   A   N   C   E
2  18   9 12  12  9   1   14   3   5    =    85 %

K  N  O W  L  E  D  G  E
11 14 15 23 12 5   4  7   5     =    96 %

H  A  R  D  W  O  R  K
8   1  18  4  23 15 18 11    =    98 %

A   T   T   I   T   U   D   E
1   20  20 9  20  21   4   5    =    100 %

This proves that neither dedication nor brilliance is enough, but that knowledge and hard work will get you close and attitude will get you there. However when one considers a number of other elements that could be used, one gets a more truthful answer about working at more than 100%:


B   U   L   L   S   H   I   T
2   21 12  12 19   8   9  20    =    103 %


A   R   S   E   K   I   S   S   I   N   G
1   18  19  5  11  9  19  19  9  14   7      =     131 %


So the next time you hear someone trotting out the old cliché, remember that 100% is as good as it can get…!

[Constable Hogweed]

Thats brilliant Gelert.   
Mmmmm feel a Marmite page coming on. 

[Xanxtuary]

I've seen something similar to Gelert's mathematical theorems before, can't think where.  No doubt our beloved and esteemed Chancellor Hogweed will make good use of the information!