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Other Stuff => Metaphysical Stuff => Topic started by: gelert on Fri, 2005-01-28, 23:56:13

Title: Why....
Post by: gelert on Fri, 2005-01-28, 23:56:13
...When the sign says "Road Works"...



....that you just know that it's not going to....?
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Peter on Sat, 2005-01-29, 18:56:21
hehe, that's a good one. keep em coming.
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Moonloop on Tue, 2005-02-01, 16:35:35
...and why, when you've just crawled 15 miles on a motorway in thick fog do you then encounter a flashing neon sign stating "caution : fog"..  ::) it's like, hey thanks guys, I hadn't noticed......

and as for the Road Works sign, that's usually followed by the irritating statement "delays possible" when they really mean "there WILL be horrendous delays. Fact".

 >:(



Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Draddi on Sat, 2005-02-05, 05:57:38
Let me add a german specialty to the traffic related why's:

Why is it, that when you hear the traffic jam announcement on the radio saying that there is a huge  jam ahead and you get there, there's in fact no jam at all anymore BUT on the other hand you get stuck in a three hour jam right after you have listened to them telling you that the road is all clear ?
This is to my "special friends" of the traffic team at SWR3, Germany !! 7 hours you F****  >:(
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Moonloop on Mon, 2005-02-07, 13:01:22
Let me add a german specialty to the traffic related why's:

Why is it, that when you hear the traffic jam announcement on the radio saying that there is a huge  jam ahead and you get there, there's in fact no jam at all anymore BUT on the other hand you get stuck in a three hour jam right after you have listened to them telling you that the road is all clear ?
This is to my "special friends" of the traffic team at SWR3, Germany !! 7 hours you F****  >:(

You'll be pleased to know that that isn't particular to Germany..!!

Another UK traffic favourite is to leave the speed restriction/lane closures for up to half a day AFTER an accident spot has been cleared.  >:(
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: gelert on Mon, 2005-02-07, 20:57:22
Yeah, but at least in the UK, you get a CONES' HOTLINE....

...that you can "vent your spleen" at....

International Pro-Celebrity Spleen-Venting - the new "dangerous sport"...?
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Draddi on Tue, 2005-02-08, 06:53:30
Yeah, but at least in the UK, you get a CONES' HOTLINE....

...that you can "vent your spleen" at....

International Pro-Celebrity Spleen-Venting - the new "dangerous sport"...?
Hey, that's kinda cool !!
"to vent a spleen" Nice euphemism hehe !!
And that's exactly the reason why we in Germany don't have such kind of things. We are generally not capable of Euphemism, we tend to vent our spleen pretty harsh (Oh ja !!)
Must be an ancient thing..... ;D
But I would sign up for the Celebrity Spleen-Venting league. We would just have to invent some rules...which on the other hand you can leave up to us, that'S what we're good at.... ;)
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Moonloop on Tue, 2005-02-08, 08:38:20
Yeah, but at least in the UK, you get a CONES' HOTLINE....

...that you can "vent your spleen" at....

International Pro-Celebrity Spleen-Venting - the new "dangerous sport"...?

Ah yes....the infamous 'cones hotline'. Introduced so that the Police would be able to book you for dangerous driving as you tried to drive and write the number down at the same time  ;)
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: gelert on Sun, 2005-02-20, 18:36:14
...When the sign says "Road Works"...

...that there's always a picture of a bloke, struggling to open his umbrella....
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Mon, 2005-02-21, 01:19:20
...do the roads change their name and direction without anyone mentioning it to me!? I'll tell you a story, but I must establish a few facts first: I was driving south from London back in 1998. It was my first time sitting behind a steering wheel on the right side of the car, and the first time for me driving on the left side of the road. So I had to concentrate a bit extra. I'm not used to that, since I started stealin my father's car at every possible opportunity at the age of 9, and have been making a living by driving taxi and ambulance all my life. Maybe this is the explanation, but I really tried to investigate into it, and found that in England, roads change their name, all of a sudden, at a crossroads, and no mention of the fact that what you knew to be 2109 for instance, continues not south, but west, and is now called "Count Foster's road" or something like it, only to change it's name back to 2109 when you've left a certain area. Local names, anyone?
The story:
I was driving towards Brighton, but I didn't need to go there as fast as possible. I was on vacation, and wanted to see as much of the english countryside as possible, so I stopped at a gas station and bought myself a great roadmap. Studying it a while, I set my course south, and tried to choose the narrower paths... Confident about navigating with the help of my hughely expensive map, I was rather miffed when I, one hour later, had the same gas station on my right hand, this time coming from the west...  :-[ :-\ :P ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: gelert on Tue, 2005-02-22, 20:31:16
Ah, Deenfan....you fell foul of the infamous "petrol-station-sells-hooky-roadmap-to-tourist" gag...

...often to be found practiced by unscrupulous petrol vendors, especially in the area just north of Brighton...


 ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Tue, 2005-02-22, 20:33:23
Oh, my! Good thing I stuck to the north of England last time, then! (I went only as south as the Def Leppard city, what'sitcalled... help me! ) :-[
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: gelert on Tue, 2005-02-22, 21:45:56
Oh, my! Good thing I stuck to the north of England last time, then! (I went only as south as the Def Leppard city, what'sitcalled... help me! ) :-[

Ah, yes...well, if you look on your petrol-station map, that would be Chipping Sodbury, Nether Wallop, or Ashby De La Zouche....  ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Wed, 2005-02-23, 12:40:42
SHEFFIELD!!!!!! :D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Moonloop on Fri, 2005-03-04, 10:57:56
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?  ::)
 
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Peter on Fri, 2005-03-04, 11:14:33
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?  ::)

Hehe, don't tell me, that you've never done that.

This would even make a good subject for a new topic: Silly things people spend time and/or money on. What comes to my mind there: garden dwarves, car tuning, cuckoo clocks, hats...

Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Moonloop on Fri, 2005-03-04, 11:56:04
An even better subject for a new topic would be "Silly things WOMEN spend their time/money on". It would be a MASSIVE topic  ;) :o
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: gelert on Fri, 2005-03-04, 18:39:31
An even better subject for a new topic would be "Silly things WOMEN spend their time/money on". It would be a MASSIVE topic  ;) :o

Er, according to "She Who Must Be Obeyed", top of that list would be 'men'....
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Constable Hogweed on Sat, 2005-03-05, 03:14:19
( Advance apologies to vegetarians )

If God didn't mean us to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Sorry here is another one.  :-[

I'm not a vegetarian because i love animals, I'm a vegetarian because i hate plants.  ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Sat, 2005-03-05, 14:26:40
When the snow melts... where do all the white stuff go?
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: gelert on Sat, 2005-03-05, 22:43:10
When the snow melts... where do all the white stuff go?

It turns yellow and soggy, but not into a grinded canary...  ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Sun, 2005-03-06, 01:29:55
LOL ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Sun, 2005-03-06, 11:26:54
Why is "short" a longer word than "long"?
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Sun, 2005-03-06, 13:03:38
Why is "short" a longer word than "long"?
In dutch it isn't :)

Why is every quote linked?
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Xanxtuary on Sun, 2005-03-06, 13:58:46
An even better subject for a new topic would be "Silly things WOMEN spend their time/money on". It would be a MASSIVE topic  ;) :o

Time ... spent on these and other message boards, watching my collection of sci-fi DVDs, playing computer games, chastising/loving my man ... oh and working too!

Money ... spent on increasing my music, books and DVD collection, useless computer software which I think is a good idea at the time and fails to work, new keyboards (see my Keyboards poll postings for further details), platform shoes and boots ... and groceries/household items

Things I wonder ...

Why when I dye my hair a colour I like, it grows out in a few months, and when I dye it a colour I'm not keen on, it takes YEARS to grow out?

Why do manufacturers of pre-packed salads/sandwiches put SWEETCORN and BEANS in nearly all their products?  I have an intolerance to both and it makes choosing something to eat for my work lunch break very difficult ... and I get fed up of making my own, coz I'm a lazy grrrrl at heart.

Why do DVDs have to have annoying Regions?  Can't they just make them in PAL or NTSC formats, that would be much simpler.
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Peter on Sun, 2005-03-06, 14:09:43
Why do DVDs have to have annoying Regions?  Can't they just make them in PAL or NTSC formats, that would be much simpler.

I share this feeling. I heard rumours that most standalone DVD players can be tricked into playing any region DVDs...
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Sun, 2005-03-06, 17:27:17
In dutch it isn't :)

Not in norwegian either. It's the same length...  ??? "Kort" & "Lang". While we're at it, why is "Abridgement" such a long word? How come it's much longer than "Soul", for example...  :-\
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Sun, 2005-03-06, 17:47:55
Phoey! Then we have to go waaaaay back to the time when words were made up.

...

...

Neeeeh....
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Moonloop on Mon, 2005-03-07, 09:06:17
I share this feeling. I heard rumours that most standalone DVD players can be tricked into playing any region DVDs...

What REALLY annoys me about DVDs is that you can't skip past all the legal stuff at the beginning, you have to sit and wait for it to play through as the skip button is disabled. At least with videos you can fast-forward past it.

Definitely a case of backwards technology in this respect  >:(
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Mon, 2005-03-07, 12:33:54
What REALLY annoys me about DVDs is that you can't skip past all the legal stuff at the beginning, you have to sit and wait for it to play through as the skip button is disabled.
When that's playing I'm getting a drink, get some snacks, check the forum one last time and thén watch the movie :)
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Mon, 2005-03-07, 21:28:35
Hey, Applemoes???, that's good! I have a friend who don't turn on the tv until the whole intro silliness is done. It's a matter of principles.
It's perfectly ok that they put it there, but why aren't the "next" or "skip" button allowed to work? It's arrogance!

Another way to partly avoid it is if you're using your computer to watch DVD's. Nero allows you to choose whether it should start where you left off every time you put the same disc in. So, from the second time on, you'll go to that point, which may be the main menu. It won't help you much with rented films and such, though.

You could always burn a copy, thanks to my much prosecuted but never convicted viking brother, "DVD-JOHN"!
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Mon, 2005-03-07, 21:39:09
Ok, two things more that annoys me to no end:

1.When I don't spell absolutely everything correctly, down to the most petty detail. If anyone wondered, I was referring to Appelmoes??, when I wrote Applemoes???. If it happens again, I'll turn myself into a chicken salad.

2.The little pause that occurs when the DVD player changes layer. How completely incompetent and utterly waste-minded are these people? Just think of it: They managed to make the whole player, with all its technical brilliance and mind-blowing complexity... but they didn't bother to solve that minor, movie-experience-destroying, issue. What about a tiny memory of about 2 seconds, that would allow the player to make a seamless transition? Eh? How blind to details can you be, and still invent the DVD???? AAAAAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!

Oh, and do not see the two in any kind of relation. I'm not that into details, at all. Not more than 12,398573499% more than the average guy. Or 12,3985734989%, to be exact.
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Mon, 2005-03-07, 23:28:38
1.When I don't spell absolutely everything correctly, down to the most petty detail. If anyone wondered, I was referring to Appelmoes??, when I wrote Applemoes???. If it happens again, I'll turn myself into a chicken salad.
Actually, I'm glad you use ?'s at all in combination with Appelmoes. A lot of people 'forget' that >:( Why? ???

 :P
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Tue, 2005-03-08, 20:22:39
I would use an ´or even an `, if you had decided that it was a part of your name. Can anyone argue? Is applesauce something you put on a slice of bread, like a marmalade?
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Tue, 2005-03-08, 20:43:33
And where would you put the ' 's?
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Peter on Tue, 2005-03-08, 22:36:38
I would use an ´or even an `, if you had decided that it was a part of your name. Can anyone argue? Is applesauce something you put on a slice of bread, like a marmalade?

Applesauce is something you eat with latke (Kartoffelpuffer, potato pancake) or rice pudding (Milchreis).
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Tue, 2005-03-08, 22:47:06
In the Netherlands you eat it with your potatoes and vegetables. Actually I'm not very fond of applesauce. Since I'm living on my own I have eaten it once. :-\

Isn't that weird?
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Deenfan on Wed, 2005-03-09, 00:28:55
I had potatoes with my dinner twice the first year I lived on my own... Was I fed up, or what? In Norway it's always "but you MUST have potatoes"/"It's not dinner without potatoes!" and all that shit from another generation. Just wanted to say that we may use "Eplemos" for topping on a slice of bread. Just thought it looked a bit like it, and Appelmoes, this time without the ??'s, reminded a bit about the word. ("Appelmoes??" reminds me more of "Eplemos??") -I'm insane. ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Moonloop on Wed, 2005-03-09, 08:25:29
Back onto the "Why" track.......

If Man is descended from Apes, then why are there still Apes..??

 ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Wed, 2005-03-09, 11:53:04
Back onto the "Why" track.......

If Man is descended from Apes, then why are there still Apes..??

 ;D
Probably some dumb*beep*'s who devolved back :P
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Moonloop on Wed, 2005-03-09, 11:57:48
Probably all Man Utd fans  ;)  ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Wed, 2005-03-09, 11:59:51
 :D There are some striking reresemblances between chimps and football hooligans... The way they climb those fences :P
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: gelert on Fri, 2005-03-11, 18:02:00
...The way they climb those fences :P

Er, that would be "The Grand National", and er,...those would be "horses"....  ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Mark Jan on Sun, 2005-03-13, 17:39:48
And some of those hooligan-idiots sounds like apes. Especially when a black player is involved.  >:(   Stupid idiots!
 >:(
:D There are some striking reresemblances between chimps and football hooligans... The way they climb those fences :P
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: gelert on Sat, 2005-04-09, 21:32:33
Ok, things that annoy me to no end:

1.When I don't spell absolutely everything correctly, down to the most petty detail. If anyone wondered, I was referring to Appelmoes??, when I wrote Applemoes???. If it happens again, I'll turn myself into a chicken salad.

AN INTERESTING THING ABOUT THE HUMAN MIND...
 
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt




Chicken Salad to go, sir...?  ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Peter on Sat, 2005-04-09, 21:49:09
ROFL  :D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Appelmoes?? on Sun, 2005-04-10, 01:30:34
That an old joke :) But pretty funny ;D
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Herben on Mon, 2005-07-18, 22:49:30
Why, wat zal ik daar nou eens op zeggen, ik weet het niet.
Why am I, Why do I like Arena, it's a nice band that makes nice music so that's why.

Why is the world,
sometimes so dry,
sometimes too wet,
why are there birds in the sky
that sing songs like a band
Wel I don't know why
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Herben on Thu, 2005-07-21, 22:12:59
In the Netherlands you eat it with your potatoes and vegetables. Actually I'm not very fond of applesauce. Since I'm living on my own I have eaten it once. :-\

Isn't that weird?
Yes that is, maybe a grinded canary more tasteful, nice on the barbeque, with some saté or Mayo.
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: Herben on Thu, 2006-07-20, 19:11:13
In dutch it isn't :)

Why is every quote linked?
Yes the same lenght, so kort isn't shorter than lang. But I think the clue in english is in saying loooooooooooong and short, so long is a longer word than short why the quote is linked if you throw the start away it isn't linked anymore......
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: keyboardistmatt on Sat, 2006-08-19, 16:33:47
Ah yes....the infamous 'cones hotline'. Introduced so that the Police would be able to book you for dangerous driving as you tried to drive and write the number down at the same time  ;)

That figures! ::)
Title: Re: Why....
Post by: keyboardistmatt on Sat, 2006-08-19, 16:35:38
Er, according to "She Who Must Be Obeyed", top of that list would be 'men'....
Depends which way you look at it...! ;)