I'm offering anyone out there to share their problems with me.
I may not be able to sort them out but i'll give a dam good solution!
There's this bloke called Smegal wants a lift to Rotherham but I don't think he lives anywhere near me and besides I am worried that he might attempt to corrupt the young mind of my daughter, what should I do?
Worried from Norwich.
Well i suggest adding a bit of lavinder oil to your bath to begin with.
When calm explain that you are unable to take him to rotherham but take caution he my be slightly unstable. I don't think your daughter has anything to worry about on the curruption front this smegal guy sounds too ugly to even have a conversation with a lady.
I'll try that! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Smegal on Wed, 2006-02-01, 03:22:19
I'm offering anyone out there to share their problems with me.
I may not be able to sort them out but i'll give a dam good solution!
I have a problem:
When I keep a smile spread wide across my face, my head splits in half.
Also when I try to wash away the dust from my hands (because I was sitting on a pile of stones the whole day) I saw a creation from the sky. Could it be a dream of paradise?
For a start don't worry my friend lots of people have this problem.
All you need do is massage some coconut milk into your left arm then the dream of paradise* you refer to will no longer be a dream.
*please note. Different people have different forms of paradise
Thanks man.
I want to try it out, but I have no coconut milk, so I'm gonna use buttermilk.
Thanks anyway.
Ok but remember buttermilk will have to be rubbed into your right arm for the desired effect.
I keep getting Toucan Telecom calling me up telling me they can save me money by charging me extra on my phone bill to run my bill through them.
I keep politely telling them that I am not interested, but I am afraid I cannot hold my patience for much longer.
I don't want to have to give them a fair old pasting with my favorite right hand...
:-\
It seems that guru Smegal is not present here...
I want to act in his absence but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to.
I read Smegal's latest book 'How to cook squirrels', and the 3rd book of his bibliography called 'The clumsy magican and the foolish ways of knowledge' so I know something about society, but...
I'm looking forward to the upcoming 'The weather and unpredictable accidents', when is it coming out Smegal?
Quote from: keyboardistmatt on Tue, 2006-02-07, 20:54:34
I keep getting Toucan Telecom calling me up telling me they can save me money by charging me extra on my phone bill to run my bill through them.
I keep politely telling them that I am not interested, but I am afraid I cannot hold my patience for much longer.
I don't want to have to give them a fair old pasting with my favorite right hand...
:-\
Yes this is quite a common occurance.
There is a simple explaination next time you are hounded by these people all you have to do is squirt lemon juice in your eyes while screaming the word 'monkey' at the top of your voice this will give you the upper hand!! another advantage to this method is now you are able to sue them for causing you to harm yourself.
More tips can be found in my new book 'fruit fix's fact or fiction' already a best seller
I'm looking forward to the upcoming 'The weather and unpredictable accidents', when is it coming out Smegal?
[/quote]
Due to the govenment banning my first print there will be a short delay as i have to re-write the chapter about earthquakes and shudders in the bedroom.
I believe it should be out early march
Another couple of questions for Smegal:
1. Where are you?
2. Have you heard anything about Kino splitting up? I hate to ask this question, but it's one of those rumours you hear...
3. I bought your shoes from Clive, can I get them?
4. What should I do, put my watch on my left arm or on my right arm?
5. I'm hungry, I want a cheese sandwich, but there's no cheese. The supermarket is 10 minutes walking from here and I'm lazy. I absolutely DON'T want anything else, I want the cheese sandwich. Any advice?
Thanks in advance.
Quote from: PH on Mon, 2006-05-01, 14:11:52
3. I bought your shoes from Clive, can I get them?
What the F***?? ???
1. I am currently in paris with pendragon
2. its a secret witch a can't even reveal at this moment in time
3. you can have my shoes if you come to my pub
4. work out if your watch right or left handed then sod that just wear it on your right anyway
5. Take your socks off and put them between 2 piece's of bread that should satisfy all your cheese cravings
Quote from: PH on Mon, 2006-05-01, 14:11:52
Another couple of questions for Smegal:
1. Where are you?
2. Have you heard anything about Kino splitting up? I hate to ask this question, but it's one of those rumours you hear...
3. I bought your shoes from Clive, can I get them?
4. What should I do, put my watch on my left arm or on my right arm?
5. I'm hungry, I want a cheese sandwich, but there's no cheese. The supermarket is 10 minutes walking from here and I'm lazy. I absolutely DON'T want anything else, I want the cheese sandwich. Any advice?
Thanks in advance.
Ahh you're back! That's just great...
No really!
Hi Smegal, are you gonna be with pendragon in Sheffield or is gollum gonna be there in your place?
Quote from: johninblack on Wed, 2006-05-31, 19:39:35
Hi Smegal, are you gonna be with pendragon in Sheffield or is gollum gonna be there in your place?
Which one do You prefer?
Quote from: Herben on Tue, 2006-08-01, 20:03:55
Which one do You prefer?
Oh Smegal, he has a far looser attitude than Gollum, Gollum is just too serious.
Quote from: johninblack on Tue, 2006-08-01, 20:08:12
Oh Smegal, he has a far looser attitude than Gollum, Gollum is just too serious.
And less agressive too maybe
Quote from: Herben on Tue, 2006-08-01, 20:14:46
And less agressive too maybe
But Smeagol díd kill Deagol before he got The One Ring :o
Quote from: Appelmoes?? on Tue, 2006-08-01, 20:38:08
But Smeagol díd kill Deagol before he got The One Ring :o
That was because he was obsessed by the ring in fact he already was Gollum there already
Quote from: Herben on Tue, 2006-08-01, 23:16:12
That was because he was obsessed by the ring in fact he already was Gollum there already
Yes, in a way. If you define "being Gollum" with "being under the control of the Ring". Not physically, though, and also not concerning the schizophrenic type of behaviour he develops later on.
Quote from: Peter on Wed, 2006-08-02, 10:25:10
Yes, in a way. If you define "being Gollum" with "being under the control of the Ring". Not physically, though, and also not concerning the schizophrenic type of behaviour he develops later on.
Maybe why don't we ask smeagal himself if he's here
Yeah, Smegal was gone, then he came back again and now he's gone again...
Come back Smegal! We need your help sooooooo much!
Last time I saw Smegol he sold me a Pendragon Tour Shirt, That was Sheffield in June.
I think he fell in the pits of doom :-\
Quote from: maddox on Thu, 2006-08-03, 21:28:35
:o *ouch*
"it's getting hot in here... so take off al yer cl....." errrr, sorry, wrong theater :)
Quote from: Peter on Thu, 2006-08-03, 21:34:13
"it's getting hot in here... so take off al yer cl....." errrr, sorry, wrong theater :)
(http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a213/lexaco/Funny-Post1.gif)
Dear Smegal,
We have hijacked your topic, what will you do about it?
Quote from: Appelmoes?? on Thu, 2006-08-03, 21:27:31
I think he fell in the pits of doom :-\
Phew... :-\ Last time I've been there I came out with great pain.
It's not an ordinary pit I tell you. Well it comes close to a visionpit but then in reverse. Or something...
He was seen 4 weeks ago at the Jadis gig in London 8)
Helen
Quote from: HelenDo on Thu, 2006-08-03, 23:01:07
He was seen 4 weeks ago at the Jadis gig in London 8)
Helen
Is mount doom there in London maybe?
Quote from: HelenDo on Thu, 2006-08-03, 23:01:07
He was seen 4 weeks ago at the Jadis gig in London 8)
Helen
I see you've been doing your home work.
Don't worry i'm still here in the background people and i can honestly say there is no change of you guys taking over my thread.
AND I STILL HAVE A PAIR OF SHOES WHICH KNOWONE HAS PICKED UP YET!!!
Quote from: Smegal on Wed, 2006-08-09, 17:04:36
AND I STILL HAVE A PAIR OF SHOES WHICH KNOWONE HAS PICKED UP YET!!!
Oh sorry. Ehhmm if your coming to Prog Passion in october you can give them to me!
Quote from: Smegal on Wed, 2006-08-09, 17:04:36
I see you've been doing your home work.
No I was there and saw you :D
Sorry should have said hi!
Your heckling of Steve Thorne was very funny ;)
Helen
He's jealous of my hair you see! x *horns*
Just re-discovered this wonderful thread! Newcomers, take a look at the first page too, it made me chuckle! ;D
-Paco "diggin' up the fun stuff for ya"
:D :D :D
Dear Smegal,
I've always been proud of myself and my green colour, and my mom always told me I wasn't ugly, but different and special. But lately some people who I thought of as my friends, started making fun of me and my apple-ness. I tried to joke along with the chaps, but inside it hurts and makes my inner apple cry. It's become like a little worm eating out my heart and I can't really take it any longer.
Can you help me?
Signed,
Applemoose
You've come to the right person,
I suggest you confront your 'friends' and tell them how you feel if this doesn't work i suggest you get new friends because your current ones are obviously a bunch of WAN-CORES.
P.S.
My mum always says i'm beautiful but look at me! :'(
Let me add to this.
Just before you leave them, punch them to jam.
Quote from: PH on Tue, 2008-04-01, 16:26:02
Let me add to this.
Just before you leave them, punch them to jam.
Don't you mean 'Pump Up The Jam'? ;D
Quote from: Smegal on Tue, 2008-04-01, 15:53:30
You've come to the right person,
I suggest you confront your 'friends' and tell them how you feel if this doesn't work i suggest you get new friends because your current ones are obviously a bunch of WAN-CORES.
P.S.
My mum always says i'm beautiful but look at me! :'(
Ok, I'll try
Guys? (and galls...)
I'm green... Get over it! Don't make me pump up the jam, it'll get sticky and you don't want that...
;D
:o
Pump up the Jam?
Pump up the volume?
Kick out the jams?
Hmmm... confused in Poole... ???
Quote from: keyboardistmatt on Sun, 2008-04-20, 15:56:13
Hmmm... confused in Poole... ???
:D Still better than Sleepless in Seattle, I guess! ;D
Quote from: keyboardistmatt on Sun, 2008-04-20, 15:56:13
Hmmm... confused in Poole... ???
That'll be the Electro-Shock Therapy, combined with the "dunking in a bath of ice" program, that your currently undergoing... ;D
Hi People Smegal has returned
Whats everyone been upto then?
Quote from: Smegal on Mon, 2011-03-14, 02:13:34Hi People Smegal has returned
Great! Give him my best regards!
Quote from: Smegal on Mon, 2011-03-14, 02:13:34Whats everyone been upto then?
Some are on hiatus, some are on 5 year sabbatical, some are away for a long time, others have gone, or are otherwise absent, or elsewhere present, while others are either AWOL, missing, or just simply vanished.
Hey, the "Ask smegal" thread that the entire Universe envies us for *horns*
What do you think about Arena's new singer, Smegal ?
Heh, pretty much a bit of everything, I'd guess. Or any other constellation of those words.
And you? Will you be part of an upcoming ARENA tour, again? Sure hope to have a drink or two with you!
Quote from: Smegal on Mon, 2011-03-14, 02:13:34
Hi People Smegal has returned
Whats everyone been upto then?
Were you wearing a hat at the Boerderij, Zoetermeer last year? ;)
Oh eh... welcome back I'd say. ;D
I've been up to many, many, many things.
Quote from: Smegal on Mon, 2011-03-14, 02:13:34
Hi People Smegal has returned
Whats everyone been upto then?
I thought we were supposed to ask you questions?
And now he's gone again...
Here's a question:
What happens to all these people who used to be here on this forum?
Quote from: PH on Wed, 2011-03-30, 20:39:18
Here's a question:
What happens to all these people who used to be here on this forum?
Dunno. This is the internet. A far friend of mine once said: on the internet you can be anything and anyone you want. In this special case, people decide to be "away".
I have been known to wear stupid hats and shirts etc. and i was certainly at the boerderij however on that occasion last year it was my mate 'Big Dave' wearing a good old fashion Trilby if i remember rightly.
I will hopefully be on the Nov tour currently trying to arrange cover at my pub.
Paul is a lovley chap and exellent singer very well suited to Arena, also in my opinion his voice is especially good for the earlier Arena songs.
I can't really say much more then that as he lives right over the other side of the castle to me so we don't see each other much.
Did someone say drink? I'm in!!!!!!
Quote from: Peter on Thu, 2011-03-31, 19:53:48
Dunno. This is the internet. A far friend of mine once said: on the internet you can be anything and anyone you want. In this special case, people decide to be "away".
They had some serious work to do - and no internet access at work... (at least it was the case for me)
Quote from: bluepony on Fri, 2009-02-27, 13:19:21
I think I'll call it a day and have an early start into the weekend. ;D
That has to be one of the longest weekends in history. ;D
Welcome back Bluepony!
Quote from: PH on Thu, 2015-05-07, 23:37:18
That has to be one of the longest weekends in history. ;D
Welcome back Bluepony!
Well... what can I say... I kind of have enjoyed the time off - not! But I was forced by higher circumstances to stay away from online chatrooms for a while. A LONG while. And I can't promise I'll be here as often as I used to... but it's good to be back! :D