Try your "Nick" through this...

[gelert]

http://www.mess.be/msn-names/msn-name-meanings.htm

By all that's sacred....

I typed my nick in, and got....



"gelert is a singing teacher"








So I went for the "doesn't make sense - try another definition" option, and got "gelert is fabulous" which is acceptable...


But I tried the above-mentioned option again, and got "gelert is such a great place and between your family...", "gelert is using navision financials together with an integrated clothing industry solution called navivariant...", "gelert is so cute", "gelert is the coolest neopet around", "gelert is safe", "gelert is an american blue dumbo carrier who was bred by lucie mann", "gelert is now available", "gelert is gone when he awakens", "gelert is the epitome of the western cultural image of the dog as "fido", "gelert is double walled", "gelert is fluffy_neku_mon", "gelert is the first member of his family to leave their ancient pagan customs of spirit worship and obscure cults such as droods and yolande", "gelert is made from batik fabric", and to finish....


"gelert is gone once again"


Shot to bits, more like.... 

[Appelmoes??]

appelmoes is stewed apple the consistency is somewhat between stewed apple and apple sauce

I like this site! 

[Peter]

peter is great

well, that's a good one...

The fifth or so entry I got was something truly .... disgusting

[gelert]

The fifth or so entry I got was something truly .... disgusting

Sharing is NOT an option...it's COMPULSORY...!

'Fess Up, Peter...!

[Peter]

Sharing is NOT an option...it's COMPULSORY...!

'Fess Up, Peter...!

Apart from me not remembering it any more now fully, it would have contained a lot of *beep* words, anyway...

[gelert]

But I was brought up on "Bleep....



...and Booster"...



After that, anything goes....!

[Moonloop]

It told me that I don't exist 

The temptation to forward that on to the taxman is overwhelming 

[The Taxman]

It told me that I don't exist 

The temptation to forward that on to the taxman is overwhelming 

Dear Sir,
This is to inform you that we are in receipt of your recent correspondance, in which you claim that you "don't exist" for taxation purposes, and are therefore not liable for any tax owed to Her Majesty's Government, at the present time.
However, we are challenging your claim that you "don't exist", on the basis that if you didn't exist, then you couldn't have sent us the above-mentioned notification.
On the other hand, rumours of your penchant for "Progressive Rock Music", has allowed us to recalculate your tax-code.
You are now eligible to claim "Disability Benefit", on the grounds of "Diminished Life-Style", due to the fact that you can recite (allegedly), all of the lyrics to "Supper's Ready", by the Popular Beat Combo "Genesis".
Proof of this herculean feat will be required by our office in writing, at your earliest convenience, counter-signed by at least two medical practicioners, one of which must be currently registered in the field of mental health.
We remain your obedient servants,


PP Ann Elk (Mrs.)
The Inland Revenue

[Xanxtuary]

This is the result I got when I entered Xanxtuary

Well, sorry to tell you this so bluntly, but you simply DO NOT EXIST!
Or at least there is nothing note-worthy to tell about you ...

- Try looking for another definition!

I'll try Xanxa next ...

Well, sorry to tell you this so bluntly, but you simply DO NOT EXIST!
Or at least there is nothing note-worthy to tell about you ...

- Try looking for another definition!

I am Xanxtuary ... therefore I do not exist either ... so put that in your pipe and smoke it Taxman! 

[The Taxman]

I am Xanxtuary ... therefore I do not exist either ... so put that in your pipe and smoke it Taxman! 

Dear Madam,
Thank you for your recent communication.
Sadly, we are not in a position to humour your request, as all matters regarding smoking come under the jurisdiction of our colleagues at "Her Majesty's Officers Of Customs & Excise".
But perhaps we should make you aware of the recommendations, and consequential outcome, of a recent Government quango, in which it was decided that the letter "X" of the alphabet was so under-used, that it merits a "special usage tax".
A White Paper was drawn-up in this respect last year, and the current guidelines are that any communications generated, electronic or otherwise, that include the use of the letter "X" more than twice in one 24 hour period (including signatures, noms-de-plumes, et al) will be subject to an immediate provisional tariff of one "beer smiley".
This tax came into effect at midnight on the First Day of the First Month, 2005.
It would appear from our records that you, therefore, have considerable outstanding "beer smiley" debts.
Our office will be pleased to receive, at your earliest convenience, full settlement of this account.
We remain your obedient servants,


PP Ann Elk (Mrs.)
The Inland Revenue

[Constable Hogweed]

Constable Hogweed apparently don't exist ( Huh! then wot am i doing here then klutz )
Typed in Hogweed and got...........
hogweed is puzzling british agriculturists and scientists

but i have never come in contact with British agriculturists or scientists     

[Moonloop]

Dear Sir,
This is to inform you that we are in receipt of your recent correspondance, in which you claim that you "don't exist" for taxation purposes, and are therefore not liable for any tax owed to Her Majesty's Government, at the present time.
However, we are challenging your claim that you "don't exist", on the basis that if you didn't exist, then you couldn't have sent us the above-mentioned notification.
On the other hand, rumours of your penchant for "Progressive Rock Music", has allowed us to recalculate your tax-code.
You are now eligible to claim "Disability Benefit", on the grounds of "Diminished Life-Style", due to the fact that you can recite (allegedly), all of the lyrics to "Supper's Ready", by the Popular Beat Combo "Genesis".
Proof of this herculean feat will be required by our office in writing, at your earliest convenience, counter-signed by at least two medical practicioners, one of which must be currently registered in the field of mental health.
We remain your obedient servants,

PP Ann Elk (Mrs.)
The Inland Revenue

Dear Madam,

I am not in receipt of your recent correspondance as I do not, in fact, exist. Should I happen to exist in the forseeable future then I would (probably) be only too happy to comply with your request (which I have not read, as I am not here).

Yours, hypothetically speaking,

Moonloop.

[gelert]

Dear Madam,

I am not in receipt of your recent correspondance as I do not, in fact, exist. Should I happen to exist in the forseeable future then I would (probably) be only too happy to comply with your request (which I have not read, as I am not here).

Yours, hypothetically speaking,

Moonloop.

Without stating the obvious, perhaps you only exist in your spare time...?

BTW, is this the five-minute argument, or the full half-an-hour...?

[Moonloop]

Without stating the obvious, perhaps you only exist in your spare time...?

I don't have spare time - I'm married   

[gelert]

Lordy - and we've just entered the "Lawn-Mowing" season.... 

Oh well, just for the sake of my input...two lawn-mowers is the answer...Sue mows the front garden, does all of the weeding and planting....

...whilst I mow the back-garden, after clearing-up where the dogs have been.....

...and design and build the water-features, outdoor lighting, anti-intruder lighting, anti-intruder alarms, scenic lighting, scenic anti-intruder lighting, scenic anti-intruder alarms (!).....

...et al...!

[Gollum]

Although it was no mistery, I typed "Gollum" in that site. First result was "Gollum is a computer" 
I'm afraid I turned out to be come kind of Matrix creation...
Further results where more accurate, anyway 

[creme anglais]

well, I'm on the tax free list too by the looks of things........Well, sorry to tell you this so blunty, but you simply DO NOT EXIST!
Or at least there is nothing note-worthy to tell about you ...

as for the spare time possibility.........well I really don't have very much............

Wx

[keyboardistmatt]

My result... "Well, sorry to tell you this so blunty, but you simply DO NOT EXIST!" 

. o O (wonder if the tax man knows about this as well?... Probably...just because I dont exist, and the world is at an end...It means nothing to these people...)

I took the liberty, in my non-existance, to put Taxman into this as well. 
The results are thus:-

taxman is a cheap trick
taxman is a solid night out
taxman is taking more than his fair share of your money
taxman is very shrewd in dealing with these decisions
taxman is the latest post
taxman is a cheap trick
taxman is taking more than his fair share of your money
taxman is looking at all this new found wealth with hungry hands
taxman is uniquely simple

Well, well, well!  Tell us something we dont know... 

[The Taxman]

Dear Mr. Matt,

Further to your recent communication, we at the Department Of Inland Revenue wish to point out, that "The Devil is in the detail".

Should you have entered the CORRECT nom-de-plume into the relevant software, vis-a-vis THE Taxman, you would surely have experienced the following replies:

the taxman is watching
the taxman is friendly these days
the taxman is taxable to the taxpayer
the taxman is often as eager to find a solution as you are
the taxman is now connected 10/09/2001 
the taxman is good news
the taxman is the value
the taxman is concerned
tthe taxman is up early and waiting at the airport
the taxman is out
the taxman is already missing out on possible vat payments from the huge amounts of music and software bought and downloaded electronically from suppliers
the taxman is the value
the taxman is drawn into a fantasy world created by a pretty teenage dancer and the club's creepy dj 
the taxman is this short leaning flake  
the taxman is just a myth
the taxman is paying part of it
the taxman is coming to the net the free ride is over
the taxman is empowered to ask for details
the taxman is also known as 'the collector of lies" 
the taxman is far from happy
the taxman is still ready to pounce
the taxman is an extremely enticing thought
the taxman is here and our heroine does not have her forms straight
the taxman is not far behind
the taxman is targeting the wrong person
the taxman is just as much a thief as the mugger on the street
the taxman is coming every one has gone children's swings lie empty i'm the dying
the taxman is likely to be your principal heir? your death has a tax impact on your assets
the taxman is coming to visit your mutual fund 
the taxman is calling a halt to this free and easy arrangement between the artist and his muse


And our favourite, for the Administrator of this most bodacious forum...

the taxman is caught


Yours Sincerely,


Ann Elk (Mrs.)
Inland Revenue

[keyboardistmatt]

Dear Madam,
Your heated letter arrived this morning in an open envelope with a penny stamp on it, and was processed in my non-existence by my assistant, and authorised supernaturally by myself personally.
Further to your communication, I have the pleasure of enclosing the following quote:-

the taxman is here and our heroine does not have her forms straight
the taxman is targeting the wrong person
the taxman is just as much a thief as the mugger on the street

Yours faithfully

PP Matt.

[gelert]

Trust me Matt....there's no winners (or losers) against The Taxman...

[keyboardistmatt]

I find it quite amusing that I haven't had a reply... 

[gelert]

And our favourite, for the Administrator of this most bodacious forum...

the taxman is caught


Yours Sincerely,


Ann Elk (Mrs.)
Inland Revenue

I suspect that The Taxman is no more - shuffled off the mortal coil, pushin' up the bleedin' daisies, it is an ex-Taxman...it has ceased to be....

[Peter]

I suspect that The Taxman is no more - shuffled off the mortal coil, pushin' up the bleedin' daisies, it is an ex-Taxman...it has ceased to be....

admit it! you forgot the password, that's all...! 

[keyboardistmatt]

admit it! you forgot the password, that's all...! 

LOL