Author Topic: Why....  (Read 20070 times)

Offline gelert

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Why....
« on: Fri, 2005-01-28, 23:56:13 »
...When the sign says "Road Works"...



....that you just know that it's not going to....?
« Last Edit: Fri, 2005-01-28, 23:59:51 by gelert »
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Offline Peter

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Re: Why....
« Reply #1 on: Sat, 2005-01-29, 18:56:21 »
hehe, that's a good one. keep em coming.
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Offline Moonloop

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Re: Why....
« Reply #2 on: Tue, 2005-02-01, 16:35:35 »
...and why, when you've just crawled 15 miles on a motorway in thick fog do you then encounter a flashing neon sign stating "caution : fog"..  ::) it's like, hey thanks guys, I hadn't noticed......

and as for the Road Works sign, that's usually followed by the irritating statement "delays possible" when they really mean "there WILL be horrendous delays. Fact".

 >:(



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Offline Draddi

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Re: Why....
« Reply #3 on: Sat, 2005-02-05, 05:57:38 »
Let me add a german specialty to the traffic related why's:

Why is it, that when you hear the traffic jam announcement on the radio saying that there is a huge  jam ahead and you get there, there's in fact no jam at all anymore BUT on the other hand you get stuck in a three hour jam right after you have listened to them telling you that the road is all clear ?
This is to my "special friends" of the traffic team at SWR3, Germany !! 7 hours you F****  >:(

Offline Moonloop

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Re: Why....
« Reply #4 on: Mon, 2005-02-07, 13:01:22 »
Let me add a german specialty to the traffic related why's:

Why is it, that when you hear the traffic jam announcement on the radio saying that there is a huge  jam ahead and you get there, there's in fact no jam at all anymore BUT on the other hand you get stuck in a three hour jam right after you have listened to them telling you that the road is all clear ?
This is to my "special friends" of the traffic team at SWR3, Germany !! 7 hours you F****  >:(

You'll be pleased to know that that isn't particular to Germany..!!

Another UK traffic favourite is to leave the speed restriction/lane closures for up to half a day AFTER an accident spot has been cleared.  >:(
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Offline gelert

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Re: Why....
« Reply #5 on: Mon, 2005-02-07, 20:57:22 »
Yeah, but at least in the UK, you get a CONES' HOTLINE....

...that you can "vent your spleen" at....

International Pro-Celebrity Spleen-Venting - the new "dangerous sport"...?
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Offline Draddi

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Re: Why....
« Reply #6 on: Tue, 2005-02-08, 06:53:30 »
Yeah, but at least in the UK, you get a CONES' HOTLINE....

...that you can "vent your spleen" at....

International Pro-Celebrity Spleen-Venting - the new "dangerous sport"...?
Hey, that's kinda cool !!
"to vent a spleen" Nice euphemism hehe !!
And that's exactly the reason why we in Germany don't have such kind of things. We are generally not capable of Euphemism, we tend to vent our spleen pretty harsh (Oh ja !!)
Must be an ancient thing..... ;D
But I would sign up for the Celebrity Spleen-Venting league. We would just have to invent some rules...which on the other hand you can leave up to us, that'S what we're good at.... ;)

Offline Moonloop

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Re: Why....
« Reply #7 on: Tue, 2005-02-08, 08:38:20 »
Yeah, but at least in the UK, you get a CONES' HOTLINE....

...that you can "vent your spleen" at....

International Pro-Celebrity Spleen-Venting - the new "dangerous sport"...?

Ah yes....the infamous 'cones hotline'. Introduced so that the Police would be able to book you for dangerous driving as you tried to drive and write the number down at the same time  ;)
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Offline gelert

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Re: Why....
« Reply #8 on: Sun, 2005-02-20, 18:36:14 »
...When the sign says "Road Works"...

...that there's always a picture of a bloke, struggling to open his umbrella....
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Offline Deenfan

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Re: Why....
« Reply #9 on: Mon, 2005-02-21, 01:19:20 »
...do the roads change their name and direction without anyone mentioning it to me!? I'll tell you a story, but I must establish a few facts first: I was driving south from London back in 1998. It was my first time sitting behind a steering wheel on the right side of the car, and the first time for me driving on the left side of the road. So I had to concentrate a bit extra. I'm not used to that, since I started stealin my father's car at every possible opportunity at the age of 9, and have been making a living by driving taxi and ambulance all my life. Maybe this is the explanation, but I really tried to investigate into it, and found that in England, roads change their name, all of a sudden, at a crossroads, and no mention of the fact that what you knew to be 2109 for instance, continues not south, but west, and is now called "Count Foster's road" or something like it, only to change it's name back to 2109 when you've left a certain area. Local names, anyone?
The story:
I was driving towards Brighton, but I didn't need to go there as fast as possible. I was on vacation, and wanted to see as much of the english countryside as possible, so I stopped at a gas station and bought myself a great roadmap. Studying it a while, I set my course south, and tried to choose the narrower paths... Confident about navigating with the help of my hughely expensive map, I was rather miffed when I, one hour later, had the same gas station on my right hand, this time coming from the west...  :-[ :-\ :P ;D

Offline gelert

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Re: Why....
« Reply #10 on: Tue, 2005-02-22, 20:31:16 »
Ah, Deenfan....you fell foul of the infamous "petrol-station-sells-hooky-roadmap-to-tourist" gag...

...often to be found practiced by unscrupulous petrol vendors, especially in the area just north of Brighton...


 ;D
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Offline Deenfan

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Re: Why....
« Reply #11 on: Tue, 2005-02-22, 20:33:23 »
Oh, my! Good thing I stuck to the north of England last time, then! (I went only as south as the Def Leppard city, what'sitcalled... help me! ) :-[

Offline gelert

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Re: Why....
« Reply #12 on: Tue, 2005-02-22, 21:45:56 »
Oh, my! Good thing I stuck to the north of England last time, then! (I went only as south as the Def Leppard city, what'sitcalled... help me! ) :-[

Ah, yes...well, if you look on your petrol-station map, that would be Chipping Sodbury, Nether Wallop, or Ashby De La Zouche....  ;D
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Offline Deenfan

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Re: Why....
« Reply #13 on: Wed, 2005-02-23, 12:40:42 »
SHEFFIELD!!!!!! :D

Offline Moonloop

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Re: Why....
« Reply #14 on: Fri, 2005-03-04, 10:57:56 »
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?  ::)
 
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Offline Peter

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Re: Why....
« Reply #15 on: Fri, 2005-03-04, 11:14:33 »
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?  ::)

Hehe, don't tell me, that you've never done that.

This would even make a good subject for a new topic: Silly things people spend time and/or money on. What comes to my mind there: garden dwarves, car tuning, cuckoo clocks, hats...

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Offline Moonloop

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Re: Why....
« Reply #16 on: Fri, 2005-03-04, 11:56:04 »
An even better subject for a new topic would be "Silly things WOMEN spend their time/money on". It would be a MASSIVE topic  ;) :o
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Offline gelert

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Re: Why....
« Reply #17 on: Fri, 2005-03-04, 18:39:31 »
An even better subject for a new topic would be "Silly things WOMEN spend their time/money on". It would be a MASSIVE topic  ;) :o

Er, according to "She Who Must Be Obeyed", top of that list would be 'men'....
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Offline Constable Hogweed

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Re: Why....
« Reply #18 on: Sat, 2005-03-05, 03:14:19 »
( Advance apologies to vegetarians )

If God didn't mean us to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Sorry here is another one.  :-[

I'm not a vegetarian because i love animals, I'm a vegetarian because i hate plants.  ;D

Offline Deenfan

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Re: Why....
« Reply #19 on: Sat, 2005-03-05, 14:26:40 »
When the snow melts... where do all the white stuff go?

Offline gelert

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Re: Why....
« Reply #20 on: Sat, 2005-03-05, 22:43:10 »
When the snow melts... where do all the white stuff go?

It turns yellow and soggy, but not into a grinded canary...  ;D
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Offline Appelmoes??

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Re: Why....
« Reply #21 on: Sun, 2005-03-06, 01:29:55 »
LOL ;D

Offline Deenfan

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Re: Why....
« Reply #22 on: Sun, 2005-03-06, 11:26:54 »
Why is "short" a longer word than "long"?

Offline Appelmoes??

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Re: Why....
« Reply #23 on: Sun, 2005-03-06, 13:03:38 »
Why is "short" a longer word than "long"?
In dutch it isn't :)

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Offline Xanxtuary

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Re: Why....
« Reply #24 on: Sun, 2005-03-06, 13:58:46 »
An even better subject for a new topic would be "Silly things WOMEN spend their time/money on". It would be a MASSIVE topic  ;) :o

Time ... spent on these and other message boards, watching my collection of sci-fi DVDs, playing computer games, chastising/loving my man ... oh and working too!

Money ... spent on increasing my music, books and DVD collection, useless computer software which I think is a good idea at the time and fails to work, new keyboards (see my Keyboards poll postings for further details), platform shoes and boots ... and groceries/household items

Things I wonder ...

Why when I dye my hair a colour I like, it grows out in a few months, and when I dye it a colour I'm not keen on, it takes YEARS to grow out?

Why do manufacturers of pre-packed salads/sandwiches put SWEETCORN and BEANS in nearly all their products?  I have an intolerance to both and it makes choosing something to eat for my work lunch break very difficult ... and I get fed up of making my own, coz I'm a lazy grrrrl at heart.

Why do DVDs have to have annoying Regions?  Can't they just make them in PAL or NTSC formats, that would be much simpler.
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